1 00:00:45,343 --> 00:00:48,348 “I struggle now to remember much of my childhood. 2 00:00:49,368 --> 00:00:52,376 It only comes back to me in small fragments, and 3 00:00:52,402 --> 00:00:55,361 even those memories are hard to trust. 4 00:00:56,362 --> 00:00:58,353 I do remember his maps. 5 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:04,370 It's true, I spent most of my life being angry at him. 6 00:01:04,424 --> 00:01:09,407 The older I get, the more I feel like I never even knew him at all. 7 00:01:10,358 --> 00:01:15,362 My image of him now, I know, falls flat compared to reality. 8 00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:18,370 Thank you for your memories. 9 00:01:19,349 --> 00:01:20,383 They're all I have now.” 10 00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:51,347 Okay, boys, 11 00:02:51,365 --> 00:02:54,386 grab each one thing, and come with me in the house. 12 00:02:54,399 --> 00:02:55,423 Now. 13 00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:58,384 -[in Hungarian] Look after her, okay? -Okay. 14 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,420 Jeremy, help me with the mattress, please. 15 00:03:47,366 --> 00:03:48,408 I am Miss Mousey. 16 00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:57,341 Closing her eyes... 17 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:01,353 She's eating your leg. 18 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:11,398 Uh-huh. But why, what did she say? 19 00:04:14,349 --> 00:04:15,411 At least everyone, 20 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:18,392 or almost everyone will have their own room. 21 00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:23,422 Because I didn't want Jeremy to take that big ferry to school. 22 00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:31,369 You never want to hear about the problems. 23 00:04:31,388 --> 00:04:34,353 You always want to hear about the nice and good things. 24 00:04:37,412 --> 00:04:41,350 Yes, but this way we can't discuss anything! 25 00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:43,358 I don't know... 26 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:48,342 No. You know the answer is no. 27 00:04:51,362 --> 00:04:53,368 You should come up here. 28 00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,380 You pay us a visit. 29 00:05:00,355 --> 00:05:02,355 Are you ready to leave? I should be working. 30 00:05:02,365 --> 00:05:04,345 Yes, yes, in a minute. 31 00:05:04,374 --> 00:05:08,334 Okay, I've got to hang up, we must go. 32 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,404 -Mom, your car keys! -Oh. 33 00:05:10,422 --> 00:05:13,376 Come on! Get out of my way, come on! 34 00:05:16,387 --> 00:05:17,386 Come. 35 00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:05,341 “And eventually become an evergreen forest. 36 00:06:05,358 --> 00:06:07,378 The first plants to occupy a disturbed site 37 00:06:07,391 --> 00:06:09,350 are called pioneer species. 38 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,385 The process of processing into forest called succession.” 39 00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:28,427 The heron has two methods of fishing. 40 00:06:29,337 --> 00:06:33,388 Either he waits for the prey to come to him, or else he stalks it very carefully. 41 00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:09,412 While one protects the nest, 42 00:07:09,422 --> 00:07:13,343 the other fishes, to meet the daily increasing need for food. 43 00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:16,390 As time passes, 44 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,370 the ritual exchanges between adults become less and less frequent, 45 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,407 and the strong bond between them begins to weaken. 46 00:07:23,422 --> 00:07:26,344 By the time they finally leave the colony, 47 00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:28,412 these bonds will have completely disappeared. 48 00:07:30,427 --> 00:07:33,433 His flight path is sometimes obstructed by a bird. 49 00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:37,345 The direction and force of the wind 50 00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:39,341 can also prevent him from landing. 51 00:07:39,402 --> 00:07:41,433 So he takes off again and tries a new approach. 52 00:07:44,362 --> 00:07:47,374 No, please, no touching! 53 00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:50,400 Young herons have now reached their full growth 54 00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:52,387 and are left on their own. 55 00:07:57,387 --> 00:07:59,416 They find food either guided by their instinct 56 00:07:59,426 --> 00:08:02,408 or by following the adults to the feeding grounds. 57 00:08:43,354 --> 00:08:44,422 -Thank you. -Be careful. 58 00:08:46,345 --> 00:08:47,427 -Come on, let's go. -Yeah. 59 00:08:50,366 --> 00:08:51,433 Let's go to my place first. 60 00:08:52,396 --> 00:08:53,433 I can't wait. 61 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,338 Maybe you can ask your mom if we can go in the pool. 62 00:09:02,404 --> 00:09:03,403 Let's go! 63 00:09:13,337 --> 00:09:15,378 -Did you do your dance? -Yes I did do my dance. 64 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,408 I didn’t see you! 65 00:09:18,335 --> 00:09:18,420 I know. 66 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,407 You have to do a dance before we do it. 67 00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:23,433 - Make sure you do a dance. - It's our tradition. 68 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,390 Just wait here. 69 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,431 You guys! 70 00:10:16,412 --> 00:10:18,369 -Help! -Stay calm. 71 00:10:19,383 --> 00:10:21,365 -Help! -You grab a hold of this. 72 00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:22,410 Stay calm. 73 00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:24,390 Here we go, here we go! 74 00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:25,408 Just hold on! 75 00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:28,371 Why did you do that, sweetheart? 76 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:11,424 He wants to upset me. He wants to upset you. 77 00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:14,426 Why are you talking to me in English? 78 00:11:15,359 --> 00:11:17,429 Because this was our agreement. 79 00:11:19,383 --> 00:11:20,361 OK. 80 00:11:20,377 --> 00:11:22,363 -I can talk in Hungarian. -No. 81 00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:25,387 He's troubled, but he's not crazy. 82 00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:28,361 -And-- -Crazy means something else. 83 00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:33,345 I just I don't want you to say something like this about my son. 84 00:11:33,357 --> 00:11:36,370 He is my son too, you know that. 85 00:11:37,378 --> 00:11:41,387 I mean, it's crazy to leave him like this. 86 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:43,423 That's what they told us: don't react, 87 00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,433 just let him get bored of his own jokes. 88 00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:47,424 Well, I don't know. 89 00:11:50,337 --> 00:11:52,408 Please check on him, please. 90 00:12:21,432 --> 00:12:23,432 Is he still out there? 91 00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:26,353 Mm-hm. 92 00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:37,429 What do you think about Jeremy? How he's behaving? 93 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,339 I don't know. 94 00:12:44,401 --> 00:12:46,428 Why do you think he's like this? 95 00:12:47,338 --> 00:12:48,434 I don't know, mom. 96 00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:51,403 How did it go? 97 00:12:51,423 --> 00:12:53,417 Why is your hair wet? 98 00:12:55,337 --> 00:12:57,414 We played in the sprinkler. 99 00:13:02,389 --> 00:13:03,428 Would you pick it up? 100 00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:07,347 Hello? 101 00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:12,338 Yeah, we've seen him. 102 00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:16,361 Yeah, he’s just acting out. 103 00:13:26,358 --> 00:13:28,378 No. No, I appreciate it. 104 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,434 Yeah. 105 00:13:35,405 --> 00:13:36,433 Yeah, yeah. 106 00:13:37,343 --> 00:13:39,343 No, I'm with you. Yes. 107 00:13:43,353 --> 00:13:46,394 -Who was that? -Jason. From across the street. 108 00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:50,427 He wanted to let us know that our son is dead on the front step. 109 00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:52,428 My god. 110 00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:55,416 I told him we are aware, and not to worry. 111 00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:57,422 He will come back to life soon. 112 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:26,356 I woke up at 6:47. 113 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,386 Same. Around maybe 7:00. 114 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,358 Did you know that in the ocean-- 115 00:14:33,368 --> 00:14:36,342 You know how? You know a fun fact about dolphins? 116 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,399 What fun fact? 117 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,417 Sometimes dolphins will find a puffer fish, 118 00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:42,418 and gang up on it, and... 119 00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:47,426 bite onto it and toss it around like a football just to get high. 120 00:14:48,336 --> 00:14:49,343 It's true. 121 00:15:01,395 --> 00:15:02,396 Stop it! 122 00:15:02,424 --> 00:15:05,338 I don't want to watch you eat. 123 00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:08,338 Finish eating, we are leaving in five minutes. 124 00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:18,411 Boys, do you know where's your swimsuit? 125 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,354 I don’t have one. 126 00:15:20,424 --> 00:15:24,433 Okay, then you should wear these underwears, 127 00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:26,387 so, no one will notice. 128 00:15:26,397 --> 00:15:27,407 Yeah. 129 00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:48,342 Listen, you gotta stop this non-stop... “work”. 130 00:15:50,414 --> 00:15:54,374 I can't entertain the kids every day during the whole summer. 131 00:15:56,394 --> 00:15:57,394 Oh, god... 132 00:15:58,364 --> 00:15:59,412 I'm going crazy. 133 00:16:01,348 --> 00:16:02,348 Even more? 134 00:16:12,412 --> 00:16:15,407 Sasha, come. Let's go. 135 00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:18,382 Bye. 136 00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:42,370 Jeremy, come. 137 00:16:44,422 --> 00:16:46,372 Jeremy. 138 00:16:50,346 --> 00:16:51,398 Jeremy! 139 00:16:55,342 --> 00:16:56,412 Jeremy, come! 140 00:16:59,347 --> 00:17:00,429 Come with me now! 141 00:17:22,362 --> 00:17:23,424 Seat belts on. 142 00:18:33,425 --> 00:18:37,353 You can’t do it, it's too heavy it's like 50 pounds. 143 00:18:40,409 --> 00:18:42,407 -There's not a lot. -Let me see. 144 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:45,391 -There’s like four. -There's a decently big one right here. 145 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,410 -Oh, he lost an arm. -Oh, put it back! 146 00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:52,354 Did he take the money I gave you? 147 00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:58,368 No. 148 00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:01,393 Come on, let's go to the car. 149 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,355 Where's Jeremy? 150 00:21:58,354 --> 00:22:01,363 704, 705, 706, 151 00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:05,342 707, 708, 709, 152 00:22:06,395 --> 00:22:08,399 710, 711, 153 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:13,434 712, 713, 714, 715. 154 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:29,388 Come! 155 00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:30,430 Come, now! 156 00:22:55,384 --> 00:22:56,384 Stop it! 157 00:22:57,351 --> 00:22:58,428 Do you want me to crash?! 158 00:24:00,369 --> 00:24:01,419 Let me try. 159 00:24:04,413 --> 00:24:05,417 Ah, damn. 160 00:24:31,362 --> 00:24:33,372 Dad, where's mom? 161 00:24:35,358 --> 00:24:36,421 She's at an appointment. 162 00:24:37,339 --> 00:24:39,344 What kind of appointment? 163 00:24:48,424 --> 00:24:52,338 Dad, what kind of appointment? 164 00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:56,396 Come, draw something for me. 165 00:25:01,427 --> 00:25:02,429 Ta-dam! 166 00:25:04,399 --> 00:25:05,399 Take a seat. 167 00:25:12,374 --> 00:25:14,386 What's this do? 168 00:25:17,395 --> 00:25:18,413 Try. 169 00:25:21,337 --> 00:25:22,394 That's nice. 170 00:25:25,383 --> 00:25:26,413 I need to... 171 00:25:28,344 --> 00:25:29,386 That one. 172 00:25:30,373 --> 00:25:33,358 -It's going to be Miss Mousey. -Yeah! 173 00:25:34,342 --> 00:25:35,360 I know. 174 00:25:36,358 --> 00:25:38,353 -Oh, that's big. -That’s one ear. 175 00:25:41,403 --> 00:25:42,403 I can move it back. 176 00:25:43,348 --> 00:25:46,434 Oh, wait, I'll do the bucket. 177 00:25:47,426 --> 00:25:50,426 -Pull some way just a little. -Oh no! 178 00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,428 Yeah, and then this. You have to do it, like, slowly. 179 00:26:00,338 --> 00:26:01,401 And can you take this? 180 00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:10,360 -A boat. -Yeah. 181 00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:15,369 There we go. 182 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:21,349 Yeah, dude. 183 00:26:22,419 --> 00:26:25,343 Hey. Mine has water. 184 00:26:25,379 --> 00:26:28,335 Hey, blue boat is still alive. 185 00:26:28,408 --> 00:26:30,362 And so are mine. 186 00:26:30,372 --> 00:26:33,338 -Looking kind of rough, though. -Yep. 187 00:26:35,431 --> 00:26:38,337 -Look at this. -You want one? 188 00:26:38,376 --> 00:26:39,384 No. 189 00:27:38,362 --> 00:27:41,396 Just try to find nice shapes, 190 00:27:41,433 --> 00:27:45,391 and focus on the arrangements, okay? 191 00:27:51,383 --> 00:27:53,397 Nice so far, nice. 192 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,371 Lesson number one, never do that. 193 00:27:57,341 --> 00:27:58,378 Henry. 194 00:28:01,404 --> 00:28:03,406 Time, now. 195 00:28:13,416 --> 00:28:15,388 Who is that? 196 00:28:17,337 --> 00:28:18,343 Me. 197 00:28:18,362 --> 00:28:21,368 Time is going backwards. It's a time warp. 198 00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:23,411 Yeah. 199 00:28:23,431 --> 00:28:26,417 -It's awesome. -That's really cool. 200 00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:37,338 Hey! 201 00:28:41,378 --> 00:28:44,374 You spot instantly during this phase-- 202 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:47,432 Jeremy, can you put it in the fixer, please? 203 00:28:51,346 --> 00:28:53,358 -How did it go? -Hm? 204 00:28:53,369 --> 00:28:54,431 How did it go? 205 00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:56,433 What do you mean? 206 00:28:57,374 --> 00:28:59,396 I was terrible. But what is this? 207 00:29:00,366 --> 00:29:02,338 What are you doing? 208 00:29:03,337 --> 00:29:04,406 You're not working. 209 00:29:05,341 --> 00:29:08,358 Where, where is... where are the children? 210 00:29:08,368 --> 00:29:10,346 I will show you something in the darkroom. 211 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,335 I don't know. I... 212 00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:15,407 So now you get to be the hero, 213 00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:18,376 and I'm going to the child psychologist? 214 00:29:19,344 --> 00:29:21,391 I don't know so it’s... 215 00:29:22,424 --> 00:29:28,366 It seems like you don't really see that we are in a crisis somehow. 216 00:29:28,381 --> 00:29:30,343 So... 217 00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:33,382 badly, I guess. 218 00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:37,391 Did they have any advice this time? 219 00:29:45,384 --> 00:29:49,390 You can listen to this whole thing. 220 00:29:52,364 --> 00:29:53,400 He let you record it? 221 00:29:55,378 --> 00:29:56,409 It's difficult. 222 00:29:56,419 --> 00:29:58,361 You're correct, yes. 223 00:29:58,371 --> 00:30:01,371 It's not clear entirely what is causing his disruptive behavior. 224 00:30:01,381 --> 00:30:04,342 Even after meeting with him several times. 225 00:30:04,368 --> 00:30:08,346 Can you say what he was telling you or no? 226 00:30:08,365 --> 00:30:09,380 No, I can't tell you that. 227 00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:12,370 But I can tell you my professional opinion. 228 00:30:12,408 --> 00:30:14,369 You mean a diagnosis? 229 00:30:14,388 --> 00:30:16,341 I know this is what you are after, 230 00:30:16,351 --> 00:30:19,408 but a diagnosis is not always as helpful as you might think. 231 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,402 You don't have one? 232 00:30:21,432 --> 00:30:25,357 While areas of weakness have been identified in his learning abilities. 233 00:30:25,367 --> 00:30:27,386 They do not alone seem sufficient enough 234 00:30:27,396 --> 00:30:30,338 to account for the level of social difficulty, 235 00:30:30,348 --> 00:30:31,379 the relationship issues, 236 00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:34,413 and adaptive living issues that you've reported to me. 237 00:30:35,383 --> 00:30:37,396 As far as a diagnosis is concerned, 238 00:30:37,406 --> 00:30:41,373 I would only feel confident in suggesting that Jeremy has signs 239 00:30:41,388 --> 00:30:44,374 of what we would call Oppositional defiant disorder. 240 00:30:44,410 --> 00:30:46,337 What is this? 241 00:30:46,356 --> 00:30:47,390 It's what it sounds like. 242 00:30:47,401 --> 00:30:48,399 It means-- 243 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,387 He is such an asshole! 244 00:30:52,338 --> 00:30:54,361 He didn't get me at all. 245 00:30:54,371 --> 00:30:56,426 Switch it back, I want to hear the end of it. 246 00:30:57,401 --> 00:30:59,374 That somewhere along the line, 247 00:30:59,384 --> 00:31:01,411 he decided that he is the boss. 248 00:31:01,421 --> 00:31:03,378 And you just have to show him, 249 00:31:03,388 --> 00:31:05,358 and I mean really show him 250 00:31:05,368 --> 00:31:08,395 that that's not the case. You are the boss. 251 00:31:11,404 --> 00:31:13,427 Okay, now I see what you mean. 252 00:31:14,391 --> 00:31:16,392 -This didn't help. -No. 253 00:31:16,402 --> 00:31:18,359 -What an asshole! -Yeah. 254 00:31:18,369 --> 00:31:20,346 That's what he is. 255 00:31:20,356 --> 00:31:21,397 Sasha! 256 00:31:21,429 --> 00:31:23,410 You're too old for this now. 257 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:25,391 And too big. 258 00:31:25,429 --> 00:31:28,351 Aw, but I can’t sleep. 259 00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:29,408 Oh you. 260 00:31:38,358 --> 00:31:42,423 We are having now um... a girls night. 261 00:31:43,388 --> 00:31:45,389 -What, am I kicked out? -Uh-huh. 262 00:31:45,399 --> 00:31:49,383 Sasha, Miss Mousey, and me. We're sleeping here. 263 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,375 You can sleep in her bed. 264 00:31:52,429 --> 00:31:55,415 -Bye. -Good night. 265 00:31:56,388 --> 00:31:58,353 Nighty-night. 266 00:32:11,374 --> 00:32:12,386 Is she asleep? 267 00:32:14,345 --> 00:32:16,386 Yeah, I think so. 268 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,352 I'm taking her out. 269 00:32:36,391 --> 00:32:37,395 Come on. 270 00:32:42,431 --> 00:32:44,409 Miss Mousey. 271 00:32:55,427 --> 00:32:57,426 Oh, no! Can I run through it? 272 00:33:07,392 --> 00:33:09,424 Guys, look at how fast it's going! 273 00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:18,356 She’s gonna pick it up, and have it pop it this time. 274 00:33:23,363 --> 00:33:25,374 Drop it! Okay, okay! 275 00:33:27,334 --> 00:33:28,366 Pick it up! 276 00:33:30,416 --> 00:33:32,379 3,2,1! 277 00:34:18,379 --> 00:34:19,431 Can you hold this for me? 278 00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:48,397 Ma'am, is this your son? 279 00:34:48,424 --> 00:34:50,382 He gave us this address. 280 00:34:51,341 --> 00:34:52,341 Yes. 281 00:34:53,420 --> 00:34:57,345 Your son was caught shoplifting. We apprehended him in the parking lot. 282 00:35:00,334 --> 00:35:03,416 Can you take off these? 283 00:35:03,433 --> 00:35:05,433 He’ll need to appear in court. 284 00:35:36,364 --> 00:35:38,346 Man, talk to me! 285 00:35:38,368 --> 00:35:39,406 What-- 286 00:35:40,368 --> 00:35:41,413 What's happening?! 287 00:35:44,387 --> 00:35:46,353 Are you out of your mind?! 288 00:35:47,335 --> 00:35:48,388 Calm down, stop it! 289 00:35:48,398 --> 00:35:50,429 Talk to me. Hey! Talk to me! 290 00:35:51,339 --> 00:35:52,398 Get away from me! 291 00:35:53,429 --> 00:35:56,382 -Hey, stop it! -Get away from me! 292 00:35:57,351 --> 00:36:01,367 Calm down! 293 00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:03,340 Calm! 294 00:36:03,366 --> 00:36:05,395 Hey, hey! 295 00:36:06,359 --> 00:36:09,338 Shush, shush, shush... 296 00:37:07,374 --> 00:37:08,411 Can I try? 297 00:37:09,346 --> 00:37:10,346 Yeah. 298 00:37:44,431 --> 00:37:46,377 Yeah. 299 00:37:49,413 --> 00:37:51,348 And... 300 00:37:53,345 --> 00:37:55,418 We are putting it here. 301 00:37:57,387 --> 00:37:59,344 -Like this? -Yeah. 302 00:37:59,355 --> 00:38:00,363 Like. 303 00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,425 Yes. 304 00:38:06,358 --> 00:38:08,397 Can Emma come over for dinner? 305 00:38:12,418 --> 00:38:14,398 I don't know, I... 306 00:38:15,392 --> 00:38:18,352 I think it's not a good idea. 307 00:38:19,349 --> 00:38:24,372 So I'm really very happy that you are making friends, and... 308 00:38:24,391 --> 00:38:28,417 you can go to their houses anytime. 309 00:38:30,406 --> 00:38:32,379 But... 310 00:38:34,362 --> 00:38:37,362 I don't want you to feel embarrassed... 311 00:38:39,352 --> 00:38:42,352 because what is happening here, you know? 312 00:38:42,374 --> 00:38:44,403 I'm not embarrassed. 313 00:38:46,354 --> 00:38:48,434 But you don't know what people are saying. 314 00:38:51,344 --> 00:38:52,345 So, it... 315 00:38:52,370 --> 00:38:57,370 You know, it feels natural for you, but it shouldn't. 316 00:38:57,420 --> 00:38:59,367 What do you mean? 317 00:38:59,395 --> 00:39:04,353 If Jeremy is coming home by the police, than people are talking about it. 318 00:39:04,363 --> 00:39:05,404 You know? 319 00:39:15,391 --> 00:39:18,399 Yes, I think it's, 320 00:39:18,417 --> 00:39:21,386 it's better like this, believe me. 321 00:39:22,376 --> 00:39:25,338 To keep it separate, you know? 322 00:40:12,350 --> 00:40:13,410 Listen, come out already! 323 00:40:14,391 --> 00:40:17,365 Listen, do you hear me? Come out already! 324 00:40:17,384 --> 00:40:19,364 -Come, for fuck's sake! -What is it? 325 00:40:19,383 --> 00:40:21,399 -What is it? He is up there! -Who? 326 00:40:21,416 --> 00:40:23,345 Jeremy! 327 00:40:37,370 --> 00:40:39,421 Hey! Hey-hey-hey-hey! 328 00:40:42,339 --> 00:40:43,426 Devil got into you? 329 00:40:44,368 --> 00:40:45,400 Out of your mind? 330 00:40:51,336 --> 00:40:53,346 -He's gonna die. -He's out of his mind. 331 00:40:53,362 --> 00:40:55,380 Hey, stop this now, okay? 332 00:40:55,416 --> 00:40:56,421 Come down! 333 00:41:01,366 --> 00:41:03,377 Jeremy, can you hear me? 334 00:41:04,349 --> 00:41:07,336 Please, get down, please. 335 00:41:07,355 --> 00:41:08,358 Jeremy! 336 00:41:10,406 --> 00:41:12,366 Jeremy... 337 00:41:12,427 --> 00:41:14,395 Look at me. 338 00:41:16,334 --> 00:41:17,420 Look at me, please. 339 00:41:26,340 --> 00:41:27,366 Jeremy. 340 00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:31,392 Get down, please. 341 00:41:40,379 --> 00:41:41,399 Jeremy... 342 00:42:50,341 --> 00:42:53,350 Give me the towel. Thanks. 343 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,334 Jeremy... 344 00:43:40,337 --> 00:43:41,419 What have you done? 345 00:44:24,372 --> 00:44:27,409 Oh, there she goes. She is such a loser. 346 00:44:27,433 --> 00:44:29,341 I know. 347 00:44:30,410 --> 00:44:31,420 What a geek! 348 00:44:40,414 --> 00:44:42,357 Get lost! 349 00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:46,395 Words hurt. Don't be a part of it. 350 00:44:47,378 --> 00:44:49,378 The North American house hippo 351 00:44:49,388 --> 00:44:53,352 is found throughout Canada and Eastern United States. 352 00:44:53,374 --> 00:44:57,387 House hippos are very timid creatures that are rarely seen, 353 00:44:57,404 --> 00:45:00,388 but they would defend their territory if provoked. 354 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,407 They come out at night to search for food, water, 355 00:45:03,421 --> 00:45:05,415 and deterrents for their nests. 356 00:45:05,426 --> 00:45:09,378 The favorite foods of the house hippo are chips, raisins, 357 00:45:09,388 --> 00:45:12,365 and the crumbs from peanut butter and toast. 358 00:45:12,384 --> 00:45:14,423 They build their nests in bedroom closets, 359 00:45:14,433 --> 00:45:18,415 using lost mittens, dryer lint, and bits of string. 360 00:45:18,433 --> 00:45:21,382 The nests have to be very soft and warm. 361 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,416 House hippos sleep about 16 hours a day. 362 00:45:25,416 --> 00:45:27,407 That looked really real. 363 00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:30,340 But you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you? 364 00:45:30,354 --> 00:45:32,420 That's why it's good to think about what you're watching on TV. 365 00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:35,433 And ask questions, kind of like you just did. 366 00:45:36,350 --> 00:45:39,336 A message from Concerned Children's Advertisers. 367 00:45:43,361 --> 00:45:43,428 -Hi. -Hello. 368 00:45:44,338 --> 00:45:46,338 I'm from the Social Services. 369 00:45:46,348 --> 00:45:48,403 -We had scheduled a house visit. -Yes. 370 00:45:48,413 --> 00:45:49,413 Thank you. 371 00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,343 This way, please. 372 00:45:53,383 --> 00:45:57,391 I wanted to come by and see how things are with Jeremy. 373 00:45:58,430 --> 00:46:01,344 Oh yeah, we have moved so many times. 374 00:46:01,354 --> 00:46:06,337 And I always worry, what the neighbours are thinking of us. 375 00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:08,348 That maybe we are bad parents. 376 00:46:08,367 --> 00:46:09,420 The thing is that... 377 00:46:10,383 --> 00:46:13,378 now in the last couple of days... 378 00:46:14,392 --> 00:46:16,384 were some... 379 00:46:16,433 --> 00:46:21,433 some moments, were not that easy with him. 380 00:46:22,352 --> 00:46:23,381 Again. 381 00:47:09,391 --> 00:47:10,426 She... 382 00:47:11,345 --> 00:47:12,424 suggested... 383 00:47:21,337 --> 00:47:22,360 to... 384 00:47:28,378 --> 00:47:32,354 to... take him away. 385 00:47:34,432 --> 00:47:35,432 And... 386 00:47:38,395 --> 00:47:40,359 and I... 387 00:47:41,374 --> 00:47:42,434 I said yes. 388 00:47:49,369 --> 00:47:52,353 I just, I said yes. 389 00:48:20,335 --> 00:48:22,403 It is like some big ping pong. 390 00:48:22,423 --> 00:48:25,386 The doctor says to talk to the psychologist. 391 00:48:25,396 --> 00:48:27,389 The psychologist says 392 00:48:27,408 --> 00:48:30,393 you need to call the police when he's acting like this. 393 00:48:30,403 --> 00:48:33,382 But the police do nothing. 394 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,374 Mm-hm, I know. 395 00:48:37,383 --> 00:48:41,345 I just can't get over this. 396 00:48:42,383 --> 00:48:45,358 I don't think anyone expects you to. 397 00:48:45,383 --> 00:48:49,432 It's a very complicated situation, and I think, you know. 398 00:48:50,350 --> 00:48:51,378 You know that. 399 00:48:52,421 --> 00:48:56,405 I just worry that if someone else had him... 400 00:48:58,380 --> 00:49:01,361 Maybe, you know, maybe it was me. 401 00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,353 It’s my fault. 402 00:49:04,416 --> 00:49:08,405 That maybe with someone else, he could be a superstar. 403 00:50:24,353 --> 00:50:27,353 How are you all? How are your days? 404 00:50:31,350 --> 00:50:33,348 Nice to meet you. 405 00:50:34,401 --> 00:50:36,411 Nice to meet you. 406 00:50:55,379 --> 00:50:57,404 Thank you for meeting me. 407 00:51:04,374 --> 00:51:05,374 Hi. 408 00:51:05,402 --> 00:51:07,398 Hi, nice to meet you. 409 00:51:07,420 --> 00:51:10,428 Hi. 410 00:51:37,347 --> 00:51:39,336 -Hi. -Hi. 411 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:40,374 How's everybody doing? 412 00:51:40,384 --> 00:51:42,349 -Good. -How are you? 413 00:51:42,359 --> 00:51:44,405 As you can tell, you're on camera. 414 00:51:44,425 --> 00:51:49,349 And, I'm a filmmaker here to present you with a case file. 415 00:51:49,399 --> 00:51:52,363 There is an eldest child who's presenting, 416 00:51:52,382 --> 00:51:54,382 issues within the family. 417 00:51:54,392 --> 00:51:56,401 Some risk taking behaviors. 418 00:51:56,416 --> 00:52:01,369 And was assessed, treated, evaluated over the course of many years. 419 00:52:01,379 --> 00:52:02,432 Family sort of rightfully 420 00:52:03,350 --> 00:52:06,432 felt some frustrations in their availability to care. 421 00:52:07,342 --> 00:52:12,378 And so I would love to get a sense of how you see this case, and assess it. 422 00:52:12,388 --> 00:52:15,388 And see how those options are different now, 423 00:52:15,398 --> 00:52:17,384 how the case might be handled differently now. 424 00:52:22,378 --> 00:52:24,411 How old was the was the child 425 00:52:24,421 --> 00:52:28,347 when he first started experiencing some of these things? 426 00:52:28,373 --> 00:52:32,373 I would say there was an observation of... 427 00:52:32,392 --> 00:52:36,347 sort of behavioral concerns at like 3 or 4, 428 00:52:36,357 --> 00:52:39,376 but 14 years was really around the time 429 00:52:39,386 --> 00:52:40,422 -things started escalating. -Right. 430 00:52:40,432 --> 00:52:44,410 I have some information here about... 431 00:52:44,424 --> 00:52:47,353 They give some insight into his goals. 432 00:52:47,367 --> 00:52:48,375 Sure. 433 00:52:49,404 --> 00:52:51,385 I just read it to you here. 434 00:52:51,409 --> 00:52:54,364 He describes the best time of his life as 435 00:52:54,374 --> 00:52:56,336 “Can't think of one.” 436 00:52:56,383 --> 00:52:58,415 He says the best thing that could happen to him would be 437 00:52:58,428 --> 00:53:00,430 “To be rich and famous.” 438 00:53:01,352 --> 00:53:02,433 He feels the worst time of his life was 439 00:53:03,343 --> 00:53:05,400 “When I got caught stealing twice in a row.” 440 00:53:06,343 --> 00:53:08,392 He feels the worst thing that could happen to him would be 441 00:53:08,402 --> 00:53:12,369 “To be like a junkie, to have a life I don't like.” 442 00:53:12,387 --> 00:53:13,430 He describes his three wishes as 443 00:53:14,340 --> 00:53:17,416 “To have something to travel through time in the universe, 444 00:53:18,369 --> 00:53:21,391 to have lots of money, and be old enough to drive.” 445 00:53:23,404 --> 00:53:27,370 There's a suggestion of a personality disorder, then sort of a... 446 00:53:27,387 --> 00:53:30,408 ...a backtracking of that. So... 447 00:53:31,408 --> 00:53:35,349 There's a lot of confusion I find in the documents itself 448 00:53:35,367 --> 00:53:39,394 about how to assess his well-being, his sense of himself, 449 00:53:39,404 --> 00:53:43,344 his sense of himself, when talking to different professionals. 450 00:53:43,382 --> 00:53:47,433 But this is what we have of how he felt. 451 00:53:48,402 --> 00:53:52,365 I'm curious how that changes anybody's perspective. 452 00:53:52,383 --> 00:53:56,358 The report talks a lot about, requiring considerable support. 453 00:53:57,350 --> 00:53:59,378 And I know that this is, 20 years ago. 454 00:53:59,388 --> 00:54:02,409 I wonder what sort of support was available for this young person. 455 00:54:02,419 --> 00:54:04,418 Now, I think us as social workers, we see that, 456 00:54:04,428 --> 00:54:08,353 fast forward 20 years, there's still not a lot of support out there 457 00:54:08,363 --> 00:54:13,394 to help transition these folks from crises to stabilization. 458 00:54:13,413 --> 00:54:17,407 And, going down a path that's going to be 459 00:54:17,424 --> 00:54:20,370 helpful and goal-oriented. 460 00:54:20,387 --> 00:54:23,431 And so I can't imagine what it looked like 20 years ago. 461 00:54:24,379 --> 00:54:28,356 The piece that I read about around having a little bit of respite, 462 00:54:28,366 --> 00:54:32,367 I think sounds important, provided that it's qualified with not being punitive. 463 00:54:32,378 --> 00:54:34,349 I think that's really important. 464 00:54:34,367 --> 00:54:36,407 If this young man, he's the eldest, you're saying, 465 00:54:36,417 --> 00:54:39,396 just so I'm clear in terms of the family history. He's the eldest. 466 00:54:39,406 --> 00:54:43,364 And he is the result of the mother's relationship with another man, 467 00:54:43,374 --> 00:54:44,404 and the younger three children are, 468 00:54:44,414 --> 00:54:47,411 the mother's relationship with a different biological father? 469 00:54:47,425 --> 00:54:48,391 Yeah. 470 00:54:49,374 --> 00:54:51,390 So as the eldest... 471 00:54:51,408 --> 00:54:55,394 And given what I'm hearing here, this whole family is in crisis. 472 00:54:55,404 --> 00:54:59,364 They're feeling, I'm sure, at their wit's end. 473 00:54:59,427 --> 00:55:02,338 And probably holding two things, 474 00:55:02,348 --> 00:55:07,335 wanting to get their son help, and protect their other children. 475 00:55:07,370 --> 00:55:10,345 Right. So the suggestion would be to sort of, 476 00:55:11,339 --> 00:55:14,359 ask the family to implement more of a... 477 00:55:14,369 --> 00:55:17,336 structure to involve and provide. 478 00:55:17,352 --> 00:55:18,415 With support, you know, 479 00:55:18,425 --> 00:55:22,390 because they're not necessarily feeling good about him. 480 00:55:22,409 --> 00:55:25,359 So how does how do we change that? 481 00:55:25,369 --> 00:55:28,402 And using things he's interested in. 482 00:55:28,431 --> 00:55:29,404 Yeah. 483 00:55:30,337 --> 00:55:34,350 And sometimes, voluntary placements can be a good intervention. 484 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:36,374 And then looking towards reunifying the family 485 00:55:36,384 --> 00:55:39,389 and doing that work to help reunify the family. 486 00:55:39,425 --> 00:55:43,351 And sometimes it could create these voids and vacuums 487 00:55:43,361 --> 00:55:45,368 and more problems, right? 488 00:55:45,378 --> 00:55:50,391 And often, it's hard to see what the outcome is going to be. 489 00:55:50,401 --> 00:55:52,412 And the initial decision is just made on, 490 00:55:52,422 --> 00:55:54,422 is more made on... 491 00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:58,399 Okay, the here and now what's happening intersectionaly, 492 00:55:58,409 --> 00:56:02,374 in terms of like risk and danger, 493 00:56:02,384 --> 00:56:05,413 and best interest of the child, whatever that means. 494 00:56:06,344 --> 00:56:09,388 And so... so it's hard to predict. 495 00:56:09,398 --> 00:56:13,370 And I've seen it in the instances that I have been involved with, 496 00:56:14,384 --> 00:56:17,353 go quite well and not go so well. 497 00:56:17,363 --> 00:56:19,340 This is hard to say. 498 00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:05,415 Simple straight up assurance is such a strong currency. 499 00:57:05,425 --> 00:57:08,422 Just providing that reassurance to the parents that, 500 00:57:08,432 --> 00:57:13,350 “Okay, you're feeling the vortex of things right now and it's okay.” 501 00:57:13,364 --> 00:57:14,432 Similar to what we're training the parents 502 00:57:15,342 --> 00:57:17,378 to teach the child that it's okay if you're feeling... 503 00:57:17,388 --> 00:57:21,373 ...that are feeling these things, and this is why you're feeling them. 504 00:57:21,383 --> 00:57:23,360 And you have a right to feel these things. 505 00:57:23,371 --> 00:57:28,397 I think even just that currency of reassurance could maybe, 506 00:57:28,407 --> 00:57:33,353 just maybe help them take that breather, and try again. 507 00:57:33,363 --> 00:57:34,418 Try again tomorrow. 508 00:58:50,381 --> 00:58:54,399 I'm getting married Walter, and I'm also getting as far away from the... 509 00:58:54,410 --> 00:58:56,385 newspaper business as I can get. 510 00:58:56,396 --> 00:58:57,391 What? 511 00:58:58,346 --> 00:58:59,368 I'm through! 512 00:58:59,378 --> 00:59:01,431 Get married, but you can't quit the newspaper business! 513 00:59:02,341 --> 00:59:03,338 Why not? 514 00:59:03,348 --> 00:59:05,343 I know you, Hildy, I know what quitting'd mean to you. 515 00:59:05,353 --> 00:59:06,393 -What would it mean? -It'd kill you! 516 00:59:06,404 --> 00:59:08,396 You can't sell me that, Walter Burns! 517 00:59:08,406 --> 00:59:10,380 Who says I can't? You're a newspaperman. 518 00:59:10,390 --> 00:59:11,398 That's why I'm quitting! 519 00:59:11,408 --> 00:59:13,372 I want to go someplece where I can be a woman. 520 00:59:13,382 --> 00:59:15,422 -You mean be a traitor. -A traitor to what? 521 00:59:15,432 --> 00:59:17,419 A traitor to journalism. You're a journalist! 522 00:59:17,429 --> 00:59:21,356 A journalist? What does that mean? Peeking through keyholes? 523 00:59:21,366 --> 00:59:22,385 Chasing after fire engines? 524 00:59:22,398 --> 00:59:25,424 Waking people up, to ask them if Hitler's going to start another war? 525 01:00:02,337 --> 01:00:03,344 Hecky! 526 01:00:06,409 --> 01:00:07,419 Ready? 527 01:00:11,354 --> 01:00:12,354 Yeah. 528 01:00:23,416 --> 01:00:26,430 I've been working on a project, 529 01:00:27,348 --> 01:00:30,372 that looks back at my time with my family, 530 01:00:30,382 --> 01:00:33,416 and that period of time in my life, and I... 531 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:37,416 I thought of you because you, in many ways, 532 01:00:38,334 --> 01:00:40,390 are the key to those memories. 533 01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,405 And I'm just so grateful to talk to you about it. 534 01:00:43,425 --> 01:00:47,362 It's funny because I remember these... 535 01:00:47,387 --> 01:00:50,390 more feelings, these moments of chaos. 536 01:00:50,402 --> 01:00:55,362 And then I remember moments that, you know, were not so disruptive. 537 01:00:56,412 --> 01:01:00,340 Not so dramatic. 538 01:01:00,350 --> 01:01:05,375 And I remember Jeremy being, you know, as sweet as he was unpredictable. 539 01:01:05,385 --> 01:01:10,382 So it's very hard to square some of my memories sometimes 540 01:01:10,392 --> 01:01:12,370 of that time. 541 01:01:12,389 --> 01:01:14,379 You know, he... 542 01:01:14,389 --> 01:01:16,388 he certainly was struggling. 543 01:01:16,398 --> 01:01:20,430 And you know, that was I think, why your parents reached out for 544 01:01:21,340 --> 01:01:23,403 as much help as they did, because he just... 545 01:01:23,413 --> 01:01:25,404 He really... And I don't, I just... 546 01:01:25,414 --> 01:01:28,351 Your mom in particular just didn't know what to do 547 01:01:28,361 --> 01:01:30,390 or where to get the help for him. 548 01:01:30,403 --> 01:01:31,369 Yeah. 549 01:01:31,388 --> 01:01:35,349 So I really had a lot of respect for your parents, 550 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:38,395 and everything that they were trying to do to raise you and your brothers. 551 01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:41,353 In many families they had a breaking point. 552 01:01:41,363 --> 01:01:44,423 And it becomes unsafe not just for that person 553 01:01:44,433 --> 01:01:47,398 that is going to move into a foster home, 554 01:01:47,408 --> 01:01:50,375 but it becomes unsafe for the other people in the home. 555 01:01:50,385 --> 01:01:51,421 And it's a very difficult decision. 556 01:01:51,431 --> 01:01:55,390 So he had some pretty unique behaviors. 557 01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:58,348 And they were really upsetting for your mom. 558 01:01:58,367 --> 01:02:00,386 She was always very worried about... 559 01:02:00,404 --> 01:02:01,428 where that would lead. 560 01:02:02,338 --> 01:02:06,336 And disappointed in the services and support and answers that she got. 561 01:02:06,346 --> 01:02:08,353 She didn't get answers that really made sense, 562 01:02:08,363 --> 01:02:09,407 or that were supportive. 563 01:02:09,421 --> 01:02:10,382 Yeah. 564 01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,382 He didn't have a lot of friends. 565 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,400 And when he would come out of his room, 566 01:02:14,410 --> 01:02:19,398 he had the ability to just take whatever was happening in the room, 567 01:02:19,408 --> 01:02:22,399 and just upset it and spin it. 568 01:02:22,409 --> 01:02:26,376 And, you know, he demanded a lot of attention in that moment. 569 01:02:26,386 --> 01:02:30,340 And I do remember that he would have gasoline in his room. 570 01:02:30,350 --> 01:02:33,346 He would have not very much, but he would have some in his room. 571 01:02:33,356 --> 01:02:36,403 And I remember your mom being so scared because he had made this threat, 572 01:02:36,413 --> 01:02:39,406 that he was going to burn the house down with everybody in it. 573 01:02:39,425 --> 01:02:43,373 I can't even imagine, as your parents being in the house, 574 01:02:43,392 --> 01:02:46,387 knowing that threat has been made 575 01:02:46,397 --> 01:02:49,398 and there are things in place 576 01:02:49,408 --> 01:02:52,383 that could make it happen in a split second. 577 01:02:54,367 --> 01:02:56,365 You know, that's something I always wondered, 578 01:02:56,375 --> 01:02:59,338 it's maybe why he didn't get a diagnosis. 579 01:02:59,348 --> 01:03:00,400 But we’ll never know. 580 01:03:00,410 --> 01:03:03,378 We'll never know, you know, the truth I don't think. 581 01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:06,341 It's really hard to sort that through. 582 01:03:08,343 --> 01:03:09,396 But he... 583 01:03:11,343 --> 01:03:14,348 The character that I saw, the person that I saw 584 01:03:14,367 --> 01:03:18,404 certainly demonstrated or looked like someone who was really suffering. 585 01:03:18,415 --> 01:03:21,387 Who was really struggling, who was really... 586 01:03:22,348 --> 01:03:24,428 alone and isolated and... 587 01:03:25,379 --> 01:03:27,418 invested in... 588 01:03:28,431 --> 01:03:34,341 Yeah, invested in the chaos, really invested in the chaos. 589 01:03:35,378 --> 01:03:39,408 I hope some day to be able to be in the presence of your parents again. 590 01:03:40,343 --> 01:03:42,344 They're both very strong people. 591 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,341 They're very resilient, you know. 592 01:03:44,351 --> 01:03:46,382 And I have a lot of respect for them, for sure. 593 01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,355 And so I hope someday that I cross paths with them too. 594 01:07:52,396 --> 01:07:54,373 -Hello. -Hi. 595 01:07:59,349 --> 01:08:01,353 -You're from Social Services? -Yes. 596 01:08:01,373 --> 01:08:02,394 Sorry. That's right. 597 01:08:02,413 --> 01:08:04,387 It's nice to meet you. 598 01:08:08,370 --> 01:08:09,404 This way please. 599 01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:15,358 Do you mind if I look around first? 600 01:08:15,370 --> 01:08:16,393 Yeah, that's fine. 601 01:08:36,375 --> 01:08:37,410 Miss Mousey. 602 01:11:24,428 --> 01:11:26,424 Can I turn this light on? 603 01:11:27,362 --> 01:11:28,424 Yes. It's okay now. 604 01:11:58,412 --> 01:12:00,357 -Hi. -Hi. 605 01:12:01,350 --> 01:12:03,407 -It's nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you too. 606 01:12:03,419 --> 01:12:06,394 -Please have a seat. -Thank you. 607 01:12:14,399 --> 01:12:15,416 Hi. 608 01:12:16,358 --> 01:12:17,425 Hi, hello. 609 01:12:20,380 --> 01:12:22,401 How are you both doing? 610 01:12:22,416 --> 01:12:23,422 Yeah. 611 01:12:24,345 --> 01:12:26,336 We are fine, thanks. 612 01:12:26,346 --> 01:12:28,348 How are things with Jeremy? 613 01:12:30,433 --> 01:12:33,346 You can talk, too, you know? 614 01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:36,399 Yes, I will. But please, you start. 615 01:12:43,418 --> 01:12:45,420 It feels like... 616 01:12:47,384 --> 01:12:49,407 somehow I'm cursed. 617 01:12:52,384 --> 01:12:55,395 He's so troubled. 618 01:12:56,337 --> 01:12:58,350 We tried everything. 619 01:12:59,426 --> 01:13:01,380 Therapy... 620 01:13:01,416 --> 01:13:04,416 special school, homeschooling. 621 01:13:06,403 --> 01:13:08,356 It didn't work. 622 01:13:10,347 --> 01:13:12,386 He doesn't want to listen to anybody. 623 01:13:12,396 --> 01:13:17,422 Not us, not any adult could ever control him. 624 01:13:25,336 --> 01:13:27,383 He was six years old, 625 01:13:27,420 --> 01:13:31,428 when one day, something happened with his eyes. 626 01:13:32,346 --> 01:13:33,419 You can tell this one. 627 01:13:35,370 --> 01:13:40,377 We were playing catch with a ball, just back and forth, and... 628 01:13:41,354 --> 01:13:43,432 then suddenly he could not catch it anymore. 629 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:46,422 I would throw it for him and... 630 01:13:47,396 --> 01:13:51,368 his hands would cross the air in front of him, 631 01:13:52,370 --> 01:13:56,337 but he just could not see the ball anymore. 632 01:13:56,375 --> 01:14:00,378 It was something very strange, but 633 01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:03,421 his eyes just sudden went crossed. 634 01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:07,414 It was very bizarre, and... 635 01:14:08,356 --> 01:14:10,398 and I think it scared him. 636 01:14:10,416 --> 01:14:12,431 -It scared us too, of course. -Yeah. 637 01:14:16,345 --> 01:14:18,405 So I don't know... 638 01:14:20,341 --> 01:14:23,403 This is one of the unlucky things that comes to my mind. 639 01:14:24,397 --> 01:14:27,369 And he had to get these big glasses 640 01:14:27,379 --> 01:14:30,354 with such a very young age. 641 01:14:30,387 --> 01:14:32,400 And I think because of this, and... 642 01:14:32,410 --> 01:14:36,364 from his accent at the beginning, 643 01:14:37,350 --> 01:14:40,411 the kids at the school were not nice to him. 644 01:14:41,396 --> 01:14:44,359 -You mean he was picked on? -Yes. 645 01:14:45,412 --> 01:14:49,357 Did he talk to either of you about this? 646 01:14:51,429 --> 01:14:53,363 He... 647 01:14:55,382 --> 01:15:01,402 He doesn't care about what others saying about him. 648 01:15:02,361 --> 01:15:04,396 He never cared about 649 01:15:04,430 --> 01:15:07,368 making friends. 650 01:15:07,396 --> 01:15:09,366 He's just... 651 01:15:09,384 --> 01:15:12,396 He likes to be the clown 652 01:15:13,349 --> 01:15:15,335 to everyone. 653 01:15:15,404 --> 01:15:18,345 He was always like this. 654 01:15:18,408 --> 01:15:21,345 And how is he with his siblings? 655 01:15:24,383 --> 01:15:28,395 Sometimes he's really nasty with them, 656 01:15:28,413 --> 01:15:32,336 but sometimes he's very sweet. 657 01:15:40,429 --> 01:15:43,378 Why do you think he's like this? 658 01:15:57,433 --> 01:16:01,340 He's uncontrollable completely. 659 01:16:01,374 --> 01:16:05,362 He's doing really big and risky things. 660 01:16:05,396 --> 01:16:08,398 And he can hurt himself or... 661 01:16:09,372 --> 01:16:10,405 others. 662 01:16:10,433 --> 01:16:14,401 And he doesn't care if he's getting caught. 663 01:16:15,341 --> 01:16:21,366 So one day, he stole a bicycle from a yard, 664 01:16:21,396 --> 01:16:26,386 and he came home totally beaten up, and his face was blue. 665 01:16:27,370 --> 01:16:28,428 I don't know what he was thinking. 666 01:16:29,338 --> 01:16:32,402 And he told me it was just for fun. 667 01:16:33,433 --> 01:16:38,381 I don't know what, what is he thinking? 668 01:16:40,371 --> 01:16:41,397 And... 669 01:16:42,404 --> 01:16:44,379 and he's stealing from us. 670 01:16:45,349 --> 01:16:47,396 We can't keep any money where he can find it. 671 01:16:48,420 --> 01:16:50,420 He takes whatever he sees. 672 01:16:51,360 --> 01:16:53,402 Sometimes he's taking things from the house, 673 01:16:53,420 --> 01:16:56,415 and brings them to the pawn shop just to get a few dollars. 674 01:16:56,433 --> 01:16:59,373 He would even steal from his siblings. 675 01:17:00,343 --> 01:17:04,374 He thinks that he's some kind of gangster guy. 676 01:17:05,337 --> 01:17:07,403 He tried to sell fake drugs 677 01:17:07,421 --> 01:17:11,383 to some boys on the street at 14 years old. 678 01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:18,361 So we can't, we... 679 01:17:18,379 --> 01:17:21,375 We can't tell him anything. 680 01:17:22,411 --> 01:17:24,405 He doesn't listen to us. 681 01:17:24,426 --> 01:17:27,426 Grounding, rules, nothing. 682 01:17:32,341 --> 01:17:35,388 Is it true that he once threatened to burn the house down? 683 01:17:40,346 --> 01:17:42,360 Yeah, I know he hates me. 684 01:17:42,433 --> 01:17:46,338 What should we do now? That's what we need to know, yeah? 685 01:17:46,353 --> 01:17:48,337 What are we supposed to do? 686 01:17:48,429 --> 01:17:50,418 From what I understand, 687 01:17:51,337 --> 01:17:55,412 the best option would be something called voluntary placement. 688 01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:11,398 Voluntary placement? What does it mean exactly? 689 01:18:13,406 --> 01:18:17,407 It means he would be placed with a foster family, essentially. 690 01:18:22,377 --> 01:18:23,392 I'm sorry. 691 01:18:23,408 --> 01:18:27,362 This is a very hard thing for us to hear. 692 01:18:28,354 --> 01:18:29,415 I'm sure you understand. 693 01:18:29,425 --> 01:18:33,421 We are trying so hard for so many years with Jeremy. 694 01:18:34,416 --> 01:18:38,358 Listen, do something, cos she wants to take my child. 695 01:18:38,399 --> 01:18:41,422 -What should I do? -I don't know, but... 696 01:18:41,432 --> 01:18:45,405 She thinks we're horrible parents, and she wants to take him. 697 01:18:45,415 --> 01:18:48,348 No! She didn't say that! Calm down! 698 01:18:48,358 --> 01:18:49,358 She did. 699 01:18:49,368 --> 01:18:51,401 You are the one who's too calm, okay? 700 01:18:51,411 --> 01:18:54,377 - We must say something, don't we? - You talk to her then! 701 01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:57,395 -Where are you going now? -I need some water. 702 01:18:59,428 --> 01:19:01,360 I'm sorry. 703 01:19:02,360 --> 01:19:04,370 I didn't mean to upset her. 704 01:19:08,380 --> 01:19:10,359 It's okay. 705 01:19:11,355 --> 01:19:14,417 We're just both so exhausted from all of this. 706 01:19:16,404 --> 01:19:19,366 And we feel like there is no good options left. 707 01:19:28,352 --> 01:19:30,363 Have you ever heard... 708 01:19:31,346 --> 01:19:33,383 about a family like this? 709 01:19:35,433 --> 01:19:41,371 How come nobody has to give their children away? 710 01:19:41,408 --> 01:19:47,362 Just alcohol addicts or people who are beating their children. 711 01:19:48,425 --> 01:19:51,374 I don't understand why. 712 01:19:52,432 --> 01:19:55,395 I wish I had a better answer. 713 01:20:03,419 --> 01:20:05,366 What if we try this? 714 01:20:06,337 --> 01:20:07,409 Just for a little while. 715 01:20:08,366 --> 01:20:09,431 Maybe if he goes away 716 01:20:10,364 --> 01:20:12,352 he can do better 717 01:20:12,387 --> 01:20:14,337 and then he comes home. 718 01:20:18,375 --> 01:20:21,341 Could we see him still? 719 01:20:39,374 --> 01:20:41,404 You will see him again. 720 01:20:43,350 --> 01:20:48,365 You will try many, many times to keep him at home. 721 01:20:50,390 --> 01:20:53,408 You will do everything in your power to help him. 722 01:20:54,404 --> 01:20:56,426 It will consume you entirely. 723 01:21:00,393 --> 01:21:04,349 You won't give up, but you will get tired 724 01:21:04,387 --> 01:21:06,420 as the years go on and on. 725 01:21:09,366 --> 01:21:11,390 He will go to foster care, 726 01:21:11,420 --> 01:21:14,399 but it will be a temporary solution. 727 01:21:17,394 --> 01:21:20,346 You will doubt yourself as a parent, 728 01:21:21,419 --> 01:21:23,417 and at times, your life. 729 01:21:26,337 --> 01:21:29,341 You will begin to close yourself from the world. 730 01:21:33,404 --> 01:21:35,413 No one will understand. 731 01:21:37,388 --> 01:21:39,388 And it will only worsen. 732 01:21:42,403 --> 01:21:45,399 He himself will have no explanation, 733 01:21:46,354 --> 01:21:48,408 other than he cannot manage. 734 01:21:52,361 --> 01:21:55,404 You will beg for change and solutions. 735 01:21:58,417 --> 01:22:00,432 He will grow into an adult, 736 01:22:01,408 --> 01:22:04,360 and the help he needs, he will not get. 737 01:22:08,374 --> 01:22:10,351 It won't get better. 738 01:22:11,362 --> 01:22:15,376 Countless professionals will come in and out of your life. 739 01:22:18,366 --> 01:22:19,432 But it won't change. 740 01:22:22,425 --> 01:22:25,384 Despite what you know of him and yourself, 741 01:22:26,412 --> 01:22:28,366 you will lose him. 742 01:22:44,384 --> 01:22:47,373 This doesn't have to be a permanent solution. 743 01:22:47,392 --> 01:22:50,384 It could also be a temporary one as well. 744 01:22:50,395 --> 01:22:57,367 To send him to a totally stranger family? 745 01:22:59,379 --> 01:23:00,390 Do you think... 746 01:24:32,344 --> 01:24:34,343 Did you have a friend named Elijah? 747 01:24:35,401 --> 01:24:36,411 Mm-hm. 748 01:24:38,408 --> 01:24:40,404 How come I don’t remember that? 749 01:24:41,376 --> 01:24:43,412 I think there's a lot you don't remember. 750 01:24:52,386 --> 01:24:54,339 "Dear Sasha. 751 01:24:55,392 --> 01:24:58,347 I grew up with your brother Jeremy. 752 01:25:00,372 --> 01:25:02,336 We were never really close, 753 01:25:02,346 --> 01:25:05,414 but he was one of the most memorable of my friends from school. 754 01:25:07,429 --> 01:25:11,401 In grade ten we were suspended together for stealing from lockers. 755 01:25:13,340 --> 01:25:15,340 That's a long story, but... 756 01:25:15,361 --> 01:25:17,388 Jeremy wasn't really involved. 757 01:25:19,430 --> 01:25:22,416 Even though I took the blame, Jeremy still got in trouble. 758 01:25:22,426 --> 01:25:25,350 And I felt pretty bad about that. 759 01:25:26,412 --> 01:25:28,428 He invited me over to hang out one time, 760 01:25:29,347 --> 01:25:32,346 and he showed me his maps of towns and cities. 761 01:25:33,410 --> 01:25:36,400 They remain some of the most unique art I've seen. 762 01:25:39,354 --> 01:25:43,379 I would sometimes see him out with people, who were not very good influences. 763 01:25:44,412 --> 01:25:47,349 I was really unsure how to help. 764 01:25:50,423 --> 01:25:53,361 I began seeing less and less of him. 765 01:25:55,355 --> 01:25:57,382 After high school, I didn't see much of him, 766 01:25:57,392 --> 01:26:00,339 but I would think of him often. 767 01:26:01,419 --> 01:26:03,428 Recently, I tried to look him up on Facebook, 768 01:26:04,338 --> 01:26:06,371 but couldn't find anything. 769 01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:10,388 But I came across you... 770 01:26:11,379 --> 01:26:13,366 and your films. 771 01:26:16,392 --> 01:26:18,434 That's where I learned about his passing. 772 01:26:23,402 --> 01:26:26,387 I am so very sorry for your loss. 773 01:26:28,421 --> 01:26:33,337 I saw in your film what you said about being angry at Jeremy, 774 01:26:33,403 --> 01:26:36,345 and your regrets about that now. 775 01:26:38,424 --> 01:26:40,378 I also have a brother, 776 01:26:40,396 --> 01:26:43,379 who I’ve been angry with for most of my life. 777 01:26:45,366 --> 01:26:48,365 I just wanted to share my memories of your brother. 778 01:26:48,414 --> 01:26:52,362 And that I always knew him as a special soul, 779 01:26:52,429 --> 01:26:54,412 who had a kind heart."